Conspiracy theories are for some fat ugly men who don't know how to bathe? I haven't done anything bad so I've got nothing to worry about. The police and the secret services are all about catching bad guys. If all those apply to you, here's something. Though I wouldn't consider myself libertarian, there still are somethings, which worry me. So like an ugly fatso I am, I'll just try to convert you. If some guys wearing gray coats and shades take me along for a chat, you might consider this my will.
Oh, feel free to pay no attention to the commercial announcement in the beginning. Apparently, this is just necessary evil.
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